I Remember

I remember when I first start talking to you I was to shy to open up about anything about me. I remember the long nights on the phone. I remember our first date it went perfect with a kiss at your doorstep and everything. I remember when you said you loved me, down by the lake while we were feeding the ducks. I remember the first day you moved into my place. I remember the time when you cried in my arms for the first time, I wiped your tears and said I'll always be by your side. But that was so long ago. I remember when you caught me cheating with that other girl. I remember when you poured bleach on all my clothes. I remember when you keyed my car and poured sugar in my tank. I remember when I hit you, you pushed me to far. So now as Im siting the 6x6 jail cell Im trying to remember the good life I had and what lead up to this. And when I reflect on what a good life I used to have I remember you12dots

My Pen 4

I ask myself how could i hurt her if i gave her my heart ? I treated her like my girlfriend but she wouldnt accept the title. Her heart is what i yern for, but just cant get to it because she is so closed off. So to make her think she will be happy i might have to let her go. But once again i put my feelins aside for someone else. So with the happiness that i thought i had gone, where do i go from here. As i exit the door i see how the past will affect your future decsions. So because of her past i had to a lot more to find the love that i knew she had for me. But as i think about it why should i sit here and try so hard, just for the next man to have it easy.I question her motives but i now see that nice guys dont finish last they get dissqulified. All i can say now is i tried and maybe one day she will realize that. So my flight is boarding so back to the clouds i go 12dots

New Things

I bought flowers for someone that was never able to smell them. I used to be so shy that i never talked. I used to not even know what love was so i was not looking for it. But now i dont even buy flowers. Ive grown out of being shy, and now i know what love is and im searching for it. So with her im trying some new things, im taking her out to dinner, i bought her flowers and im hoping we will have a good conversation. So lets see if the love im looking for will come out these new things im trying 12dots

My Pen 3

So now that happiness has been achevied the next thing i hope to grab is love. This girl is on my mind all day, I sit and wonder is she thinking about me ? And my question is only answered when i speak to her and she say she was, all day. Down deep in my soul is a permanet place where she will always be. I trust her with my heart hoping she doesent destory it. But with that in the back of my mind, the love i have for this girl she will never know about because i am too shy to open my mouth and tell her. The only ones that will know about this love is my pen and paper 12dots

My Pen 2

As i dip my pen in this ink i try to feel my heart beat but fail to realize it is made of stone. As we build something for the future your past comes up and reminds you of him, but yet you have a hard time accepting me, i wonder why ? As i reach out to grab the happiness that is right in my face. I turn back and see you crying so putting others first i stay in fear of losing you.But the words i speak never seem to get through to you anymore im always talking to a machine now. So for the first time i put myself first and i reach out and grab this happiness that i have wanted for so long. The feeling of being happy hurts my stomach, but i know the day beforewill never be better then the next. So as i go forward because i refuse to turn back and see you still standing in the same place. For one second i stop and turn and as i walk back to you something grabs my hand, i turn and look and its happiness 12dots

My Pen 1

Social days and lonely nights, as i try to pull my head out the clouds i realize i cant only because im just to high. Looking out for others and never for myself. Happiness is a state of mind that i have chased for some time now. Yet as i get closer to it, it becomes less and less apealing. As i put others ahead of my happiness, which was always so close that i could just reach out and grab it. But just couldnt do it in fear of losing people that are special to me. But now as i come down out the clouds i see how the world reacts to truth. So now im out the clouds and its winter now and im chilling alone like the last ice cube waiting to melt 12dots

Moms Special Day

This one day a long time ago i saw this women i knew i would love for the rest of my life unconditionally. And now i go through life searching for the love she and I have. Well i have now come to the conclusion that i will never find that love. The love i have for her cant be broke down into a simple form. The love i have for her doesn’t have a price tag. Although i met this women such a long time ago the love i have for her has stayed the same. She love me when i was at my lowest point and im sure she will love me the same when im at my highest point. This is the love everyone in the world looks for but it can only come from 2 people god and my mom. So I realize that her day is coming up and i have no money, all i have is the love in my heart. I hope that i can get by with that this year 12dots

Love

Alone in my room as i write just thinking how do you know when your in love ? Because love brings about the absents of speech in a person when they are with them. Love brings the absents of thought in a person, love will make a man throw away his black book. When i get around you I just never know what to say. And as i sit here and think love is nothing to play with but it is also something that everyone needs and wants. Love (is) more then just the word it is also the acceptance of that person with all there flaws, love is the acceptance of that person lifestyle, family and outlook about life. Love also has no time limit so, i realize that the last person has made it even harder for you to love anyone else. So as I search for why I love you i realize the relevance of the word, I think your looking for a reason not to fall in love with me. So to me love is a feeling that cant be explained with words. And that's how i know that im in love with my pen 12 dots